Do you know what you really want? If not, it’s pretty easy to pick one. First, do you have confidence in YOUR own abilities?
I was a marriage counselor for thirty years. If you think you picked the wrong mate then I believe that you should first work on the things about yourself that make it hard for your spouse to live with you. Tell your spouse what your weaknesses are and be willing to ask for help in changing yourself. Otherwise, you will find a new spouse and ruin that relationship as well. If your spouse sees you changing then they will probably be more open to working on themselves. But that can’t be the main focus.
Changing someone else. If your spouse starts asking you for help because you are humble enough to admit your own faults then you can start to build a good marriage. A healthy couple dreams together then change together. When they are happy and have been through all the ups, downs in their lives that happened to them because of things (they cannot control) or what has transpired on earth – when you believe God is loving with such a tender heart, you don’t need anything else from someone. And if you have children they get to have great role models for how growth is truly achieved. And I promise you that it doesn’t happen because you just trust your feelings or your gut. That can be disastrous at times.